Writers vs. Baristas

by Maddy Myers

Maddy: I didn't get anything done today. I tried, but I just didn't. This would be like ... the equivalent of you having a whole line of drinks you had to make, and instead of making them, you're just playing with a spoon for an hour because the drinks are just too hard and you need time to think about them. Oh, and also, imagine that your customers -- and your employers -- are weirdly patient and polite about reminding you to make those drinks. Like, one guy's just been waiting for HOURS ...

Zach: And he's like, "any time you get around to that chai tea latte, it's fine"? Sure. But I don't want to skip ahead and make the newest drinks that just came in ... ?

Maddy: Because you still should make the latte for the guy who waited the longest. Because he waited so patiently! And all the customers say, "we're willing to wait for Zach's drinks, because when he makes them, he takes his time and they come out so well! They're really worth the wait." But that only makes you agonize all the more about how to make them perfectly, right? And then the drinks will never be done.

Zach: But then there's that one asshole who's like, "YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD MAKE BURIAL AT SEA PART 2 LATTES! WHY ISN'T THAT EVEN ON THE MENU!"