23 Questions We Had After Watching The Trailer for The Boss Baby

by Samantha Allen and Maddy Myers

Immediately after we watched the trailer for Dreamworks’ upcoming animated film The Boss Baby, Samantha whispered into the darkness of the theater: “I have a lot of questions.” Maddy had questions, too. As best as we could tell, this was a movie about a seven-year-old named Tim who is jealous of the attention his parents are giving to a talking baby (voiced by Alec Baldwin) who runs a corporation that wages a shadow war on puppies.

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Funeral For My Social Life: My New Two-Song EP

by Maddy Myers

Surprise music update! I've spent the past month or so composing, recording, and producing a 6.5-minute song called "Grudge," which appears alongside one other song on my new EP, "Funeral For My Social Life." The second song, "The Ice Melts," is actually a song that I wrote and recorded back when I was 19. I remastered it for this EP, mostly to remove the sound of the creaky piano bench. That's right -- I recorded "The Ice Melts" on a real live piano! "Grudge," on the other hand, uses my typical synthesized keytar effects.

The two songs go together because they're both about someone I dated ten years ago -- and the process of producing these two songs really helped me work through those old memories and reach a much more peaceful place. Songwriting as therapy: recommended! But also maybe some real therapy too? That would be good. Couldn't hurt.

Anyway, you can purchase "Funeral For My Social Life" for $2 on Bandcamp. You can stream it three times before Bandcamp will start pressuring you to give me some money.

Speaking of money, this is also an extra-special thank-you to the folks who've been subscribing to my blog in spite of the super-sparse updates. If you are a subscriber and you're reading this and you'd like a copy of the EP, please email me at maddymyerswrites at gmail dot com and I'll send you the EP for free. You deserve it!

Thanks again to everybody for the support.

The Bayonetta Reading List

by Maddy Myers

This past weekend, I attended the third annual GaymerX convention, and I appeared on a panel called "Bayo Studies Year One" with my delightful peers Todd Harper, Gita Jackson, and Katherine Cross. We discussed the writing that the four of us have done about Bayonetta, and I thought it'd be helpful to include a list of all of the pieces to which we referred. Enjoy!

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Sing It Louder: Harassment Does Not Help Anyone's Career

by Maddy Myers

This past September, I wrote a long response to a friend about the idea that sharing stories about the harassment of marginalized people will help them, or their careers, in some way.

I do understand how the visibility of a harassment campaign like Gamergate does help naive people become more aware of internet harassment and how it works. But that isn't the same as saying it helped the people who've been harassed.

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Siren For Hire: A Post-Mortem, and Reflections On Twine

by Maddy Myers

A friend of mine is working on a talk about game-making systems and accessibility, and she asked me some questions. My answers were so long that I thought I may as well republish them here, since they include some details about Twine, Siren for Hire, and my other games that I haven't ever written down anywhere else. Enjoy!

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Siren For Hire: My new game

by Maddy Myers

I don't make games very often. I've made two Twine games before, and they were intended to be short, comedic fun. But I've always wanted to make longer games about more serious fare. I have a lot of ideas. I've never finished any of them  ... UNTIL NOW.

This is a text adventure that I have been working on for a few months now. It was inspired by me watching Sailor Moon and thinking "this is uplifting and inspiring and everything, but there's no way a magical girl team would get along that well in real life."

So I made Siren For Hire. Don't get me wrong; I'd love if fictional magical girl teams always got along as well as they do on Sailor Moon. But from what I know about people, activism, and specifically women who try to work together under extreme circumstances ... let's just say Siren For Hire is closer to how I think it might go.

Here's the description I gave the game on its store page:

Siren For Hire tells a story of magical girls living in a future Earth governed by a Dragon who doles out powered gemstones to the deserving. But who "deserves" super-powers? Meanwhile, hacker cults and protestors find their own ways to fight the gemstone supremacy ... but no one seems to want to question the Dragon.
The game's protagonist, Lycaonia, must navigate the impossible balancing act of earning an ethical living as a heroine, protecting her friends, and above all, taking care of herself.

I'm Maddy Myers (maddymyers.net), and I made this game: the writing, the drawings, the design and development.
Caelyn Sandel (inurashii.xyz) helped with editing and play-testing.

It's a dark game at parts, but I don't think it requires a specific content warning. There's swearing, bitterness, loneliness, and misery -- but nothing graphic. There's some drug use. Some references to death. But, dear reader, it is all going to be okay.

Please enjoy my game about seven women who love each other but who also can't fucking stand each other, most of the time. And who have the deck stacked against them in every respect.

What's Going On #4: New Job Stress

by Maddy Myers

Hey there, reader and possible subscriber! I'm starting a new job on Monday, and I'm not entirely sure what's going to happen to this blog. I want to keep updating it and making little videos, but I'm not sure how often that'll happen. So if you don't want to keep paying a subscription fee, that's ok. I'll understand! In the meantime, enjoy this video.

TRANSCRIPT:

And we're back, for the long-awaited Episode #4 of What's Going On, a show about how everyone is terrified. They just don't want to admit it to you.

[What's Going On intro + theme]

This is my new apartment! Very little has changed, except that now I'm being lit by the natural light of the sun. So, my life's turned around now that I've got windows, and I don't need to make these videos anymore! [thumbs up]

Unfortunately, I don't know how many more of these I'm going to be making because I'm starting a new job on Monday, and I don't know if I'm going to have free time for a little while. [sarcastically] Everything's going to change; I'm going to finally start being busy! [rolls eyes]

It coincides with moving to a new place, which is good. And both of those are good changes. My boyfriend is moving in here, which is also good, but that's a lot of change for me. Even a good change, I tend to react to with absurd anxiety and self-sabotage, so … [laughs] I've been doing a lot of really cool stuff like, picking fights with people and getting stress headaches and grinding my teeth at night – that's a fun new habit I'm just giving a whirl – and waking up with a headache and feeling like I haven't slept at all, and not eating meals at regular times … you know, classic Maddy Myers comedy bits. I've been really killing it all week.

I'm sort of hoping that all of these changes will even out eventually, and I'll just chill for once. [surfer voice] Maybe I'll just, like, chill. Like, for once, I'll just fuckin' chill out.

[claps hands] Change is bad, and no one should ever change anything about their life, even if it sucks now, because if you change stuff, then that's scary, and it's better to just not change. At all.

Obviously I think it's great to learn how to adjust to changes, except I have absolutely no idea how to do it, and I've chosen to [air quotes] "cope" with stress by lashing out at others and largely being a huge asshole. So maybe this video is an apology to pretty much everybody I know, because I have been a real jerk this week.

You know, it is possible that all of these good changes will happen, and it will turn out that they were all a really bad idea, and I'll wish that I had kept freelancing, and I'll wish that I had kept living alone in my dark basement like I always did before. But that is not likely. [laughs] However, it is a lot less scary to keep doing what you're already doing, even if it's harmful to you.

I can tell objectively that all of these changes are good. Intellectually I know that, and logically I know that. [waves arms] That's a robot. [does the robot] I don't know.

Emotionally and psychologically and even physically, I feel like I haven't done a good job of absorbing all of these things. At all.

I don't really have any advice. As usual, I have zero advice. But for once I'm making a video about something good happening to me. So you would think, for once, I would be psyched about it. I think I seem a little more psyched overall. I have a more cool vibe in this video. [sarcastically] I'm a lot … cooler now? So, that's another thing that's changed about me. Now I'm just finally cool.

I guess since these videos never have any advice from me, since they're always me being like, "I don't know how to cope with my own life! Ha!" And trying to make jokes about it, even though it's completely ineffective and actually people watch these videos and they're like, "Maddy, I'm really concerned about you." And I'm like, "But I'm trying to be funny!"

[laughs] But it's really not worked, and instead people are like, "Maddy, these are terrifying, and you should probably talk to a therapist instead of your camera." And to that I say, I've been to therapy before and I endorse it and it's actually a pretty good thing and I don't stigmatize it in any way. These videos are just a jokey way for me to laugh at myself and also be compassionate about my own faults from time to time.

Insofar as I have any advice, I guess it's that. It's good to be compassionate about your own faults. Don't make them into such a joke that you think that it's not okay to fuck up from time to time, because it is, and it's okay to be scared and not know what you're doing. And it's okay for me to be scared. Nobody really knows what they're doing. Everybody's really scared all the time.

Gooodddd luuuuck!!!

[Ending theme]